Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A big thing.....

So, I've had two topics on my mind the last few nights, one about traditional relationships and expectations and this one, which is going to be about something very personal, it will also include pictures. If you're at all squeamish, i would not read it, it's going to involve details, graphic details.

If you're curious, I'm going to write about me, and my breast reduction, I am going to include a picture of my surgical scars, which will be current, so if the thought of seeing this upsets you, please don't read, I'd also appreciate it if there's no snide or "amusing" comments, It's a big decision to make to write about this, and has taken me a few days to get round too. I hope you can appreciate it.

I asked my mum for a before picture, but alas I have none, hopefully the scars will show you the after though.

I developed really early, I was relentlessly mocked for having a huge chest at both primary and high school, I didn't have a lot of friends, really. I'm not saying this to gain any sympathy but to try and paint a picture about what it was like, for me to go through this.

I went to high school with a 32 inch chest, and a D cup breast, not bad for 12, eh?

They continued to grow and at 15 I went to see about getting my breasts reduced, I'm unsure of my cup size at that time, then at 19 4 years later, I got a short notice call, my time was up, I was going to get a reduction. At 19 I was a 32HH, this, was at the time bigger than Pamela Andersons implants, that should give you, hopefully an Idea of just how large my chest was at 19.

I don't remember the surgery, I remember being very afraid and watching the green coloured liquid drain into me, before which the nurse had told me I would be asleep before the liquid had drained past a certain point, then that was it, in i went.

The surgery used to be an anchor shape like this (thank you google images)

this surgical procedure leaves scars like this (another thanks to google images)

As you can see, those are rather large scars.

When I went to get my surgery I was informed by my surgeon that they had changed the procedure and now they no longer done the anchor style surgery and would I like to try the new method, the new method was completely different.

They now cut up, and round your nipples, leaving you with less of a scar, during the surgery your nipples are removed, the excess tissue removed and then the skin is removed then your sewn back up. After surgery your woken every hour to check if your nipples are attached correctly, as you can lose then, you can also lose all sensation and generally as a rule you can't breastfeed after the surgery.

So afterwards, i got home, eventually, where I had a rather magnificent bruise on my chest, from my collarbone down to my ribs, black, blue, purple and yellow, i was a mini rainbow, it didn't hurt though....the bruise that is.

I got my first 36d bra, a nice soft sports one, as you can't have wires on your scar and now, I'm 29 and I have the scars left.

The scars don't bother me, I don't notice them and mostly anyone who is my partner doesn't, I've been told they're not noticeable and this is the point I show you my scars.

it's taken me 4 days to pluck up the courage to write this blog post, and an hour to write this post, now, all i need to do is show something about me that makes me me, something personal and intimate that most people don't get to see, I hope it's taken in the way I intend it.

So onwards

this is my scar around my nipple

my chest.

That's me folks and my scars, laid bare for all to see, something that wasn't easy to do, not easy to share with the public, not because I'm shy, or afraid, but because It's personal to me, and me alone.

I love my breasts now, I have "great jugs" and get compliments on my cleavage all the time, I'm a complete nightmare about badly fitting underwear, I don't see a reason, especially as I have been there with larger breasts than average, and had a reduction, it's good for your health your back and you to have a nice fitted bra.

if you don't know where to get measured I recommend Bravissimo or House of Fraser. La Senza aren't worth going too, their staff are not correctly trained and the majority of people who go there do not get a well fitted bra. Bravissimo are good for larger breasts and do a good service, I have personally always used House of Fraser, I've found their service to be right on the money, they're always very helpful, although it can be rather embarrassing if you're young as most of their staff are about 40, it's worth going somewhere and buying underwear, don't just pick some up.

This is for your own good, buy some good fitting underwear and embrace your boobs.

I hope you read this and didn't judge me too badly for sharing something so person to me.


Friday, August 19, 2011

Something a little more female

Warning, massive, massive warning, I'm going to write about things that MAY gross you out, that you may agree with, will be talking about womans body functions (oh oh) and using the V word.... So if any of this makes you feel uncomfortable, please feel free to not read this post.

Please don't say I didn't warn you.

I read thispost after seeing it pop up on my facebook page, before you click it's about Mooncup, a menstrual cup, so could make you feel a bit awkward, or uncomfortable.

Now, I use this, and this woman talks complete and utter nonsense, I do not in any way feel restricted in using my mooncup, where as before it was gross, disgusting and the smell of blood was nauseating, who feels sexy when changing a tampon/sanitary towel, not me that's for fricken sure.

I have to wonder if this woman has a clue how her body works, she mentions "If we think women have a long way to go to get parity in the boardroom, it's going to take even longer if they're fiddling about with a Mooncup 24/7, one week out of every month." you don't need to "fiddle" with it, I personally don't go near mine at all, it sits there, does nothing and I don't notice it, its inconspicuous.

I only touch it when I'm cleaning it out, which you don't need to be near a sink for, contrary to her ridiculous article, you wipe with a bit of toilet roll and tada, sorted, wash your hands and you're done, you rinse next time you're at a sink, usually at home.

I know most of you are like OH MY GOD, TOUCHING YOUR VAGINA??? (yes folks the V word) but you wipe it when you pee, you wipe your bum when you do *aherm* other stuff so how is this any worse?

I was grossed out too before i tried it, thought oh how minging is that (sorry a lovely Scottish word there) but still I was curious and thought I'd give it a shot, I love it, I feel like a whole new person, no longer is my life dominated by blood every month, pop my cup in and I can just continue on, don't worry about it getting on my jeans, skirt, etc etc. Having a heavy bleed was the norm for me, with back pain galore. Not now though, now I get a little ache and nothing else, it's actually an amazing product.

I have NO idea what it does that I don't get as much pain as usual, a lot of people on the Mooncup facebook page andwebsite have the exact same thought, less pain, shorter bleeds and an improved life, until something more scientific comes along I'm going to have to assume they're magic.

I bet you're still NOT quite convinced though, that mooncup is for you, i've had mine 2 years, best £20.00 I spent in my life, and no, i'm not a big raging hippy, not am I really a feminist but I still love it, it's one of the best products I have ever bought, I'm actually going to buy another one, I love it that much.

So Ms Burchill, stop being a narrow minded idiot, and judging something you clearly know nothing about, and in the independent no less, poppycock. So glad I don't ascribe to your way of thinking the world would be a lot less pleasant if most women did.

So folks, that was it, a bit about blood, periods, tampons and mooncup, you never know you might like it


Saturday, August 13, 2011

A change...

Well folks, been offline for a wee bit, just got myself a job, working event safety for Securigroup, I have been to T in The Park, Wickerman, Hopetoun Horse Trials, a few football games, no gigs as of yet though :(

I have decided that I fancy loosing some weight, so as of Monday I'm going to be excercising, gutting my flat and throwing away anything I don't need.

A change, will do me good, eh?

Hopefully the next blog update will have something more interesting